I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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