He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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