Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize