He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
