I think I died a long time ago.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
