If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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