What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
