Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
