he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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