Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
