dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
