nut hugger
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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