I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
