Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
