after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
