he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
