community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm just crazy horny about you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize