Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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