how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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