My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
