my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
