I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
