So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
