You really coming over, don't trick.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
