Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
