I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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