you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize