Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
