Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
