I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
