You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
