I think my vagina is haunted
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Holy shit dude........stairs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
