ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
