It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize