So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
