If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
