his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
