Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Life is so much better after having sex.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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