Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
