ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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