he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
