watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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