i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
