I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
