I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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