How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
