if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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