Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I want to be your penis for a week.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
