I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
