Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
