Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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