I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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