i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
