Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
