so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
